This is the last chance to make our mark

Movies i desperately need to watch:

1. Eagle Eye
2. High School Musical 3: Senior Year
3. Kidnap
4. Drona (ok, this one not so desperate la, if got time and company, why not right...midah?? haha)

Teaching math on msn is so fun. You can pretend as if you know everything, when what you are actually doing is just reciting from the notes that are staring back in front of you.

And it helps alot that you have smart friends. So in times of emergency, you can mia for a while and still be back with the answer, acting as if you are the one who just have solved that sonofabitch of a question.

Kill them math monsters Mira, you can do it!

13th :D

Will we think about tomorrow like we think about now?

On Tuesday, i became the chaperon for Zimah and her fellow friends for their jalan raya. It was pretty fun to see all those adorable girls, being all dolled up and oh-so-excited for their first ever jalan raya. Haha virgin!

With the girls, jalan raya is slightly bit different. The first thing that they do when they reach one another's houses is to go straight into their respective friend's room ("Mari masuk bilik kita!") and start playing video games, watch videos on the computer or watch dvds on the television.

I don't play games, nor do i like watching stupid videos (remember we are talking about 10 years old here and i'm sure you can imagine the kinds of videos they watch...). So unless we are watching dvds (we watched Pendekar Bujang Lapok and Alvin and the Chipmunks), what i have to do is sit infront of the tv, all alone, and talk to the elderly -.-

Well, talking to the girls' mothers are usually ok, coz they are totally harmless and they cook really yummy food. However, there was this grandmother, Zimah's bestfriend's grandmother to be exact, was such a horror. She started telling me about her life, her illnesses, her problems, her family...LIKE I CARE?! Hello, i'm just here coz i get free and nice food and also for the money. Do i look as if i am interested to listen to your pathetic sad life?? Well, i kinda pretended so actually.

Okok, slightly too harsh, sorry. Fine, i know i'll be old and sick one day and by then i will also probably have the effing urge to rant my sorrow to someone, but i'll make sure it's not a poor 19 year old girl, hands down.

All said and done, jalan raya was fun, and it kinda reminded me of the time when i did that 8-9 years ago with my own classmates. Damn, what a blast we had!

And i've hurt myself, by hurting you

In every season of ANTM, there is always that one bitch that makes life difficult for all the other girls in the house. To name a few, there were Renee, Ebony, Bianca, etc etc...The common trait that all these "bitches" have is that eventually, they will admit that all that "fierce" thing, was just a big facade. They claim that they are so mean to people because of their painful past.

Well, who doesn't have a past? I'm sure everybody has a "painful" past, depends on how you define "painful", of course!

People are not born with cynicism. It's just a trait that you pick up, and with practice you'll just master it! Being cynical usually gives one the impression that he/she has the upperhand in arguments. That is because you think that you are not the least bit hurt and by replying sarcastically and rudely most of the time, you believe that you are in control of the "game".

But why just stop there? Don't you think that when someone is being cynical, he/she is just trying to cover up the fact that he/she is actually the one who is badly hurt? How else to show that you ain't hurt but by pretending that you ain't hurt?!

Yes yes, it's all about the mind game. Typical.

Gosh, this entry is so self-reflective.

Would you dance, if i asked you to dance?

Mothers are just amazing people. They may have been all busy with work/visiting their mother/hanging out with their friends/jalan raye, whatever...but they will still come home and clean the house, wash the laundry and cook meals for not 1 or 2, but six people.

How Mothers are able to sacrifice half their life just to devote their time for their family wonders me.

And i don't think i am ever able to do that. Afterall, i am a self-centred biatch.

You could be my black Kate Moss tonight

My mother said before that there's always a blessing in disguise in any unfortunate events that happen to us. So we shouldn't complain so much, but should try look at the positive side of things. Like when you fail an exam, you will then thrive to do better the next time round...though that sometimes doesn't work for me.

Using the same logic, i try to look at the positive side of the current situation that i'm in. Maybe this really happened for a reason. Maybe it's a test, to see how far we'll go. Maybe it's to see how strong our relationship is.

Or maybe i'm just deluding myself. Maybe this all happens just for the heck of it.

Maybe my mother is right afterall...like she always claim to be anyways. If we manage to triumph over this, i guess we have become stronger than before. We will know that what we share is something that is worth fighting for. And it's also a good story to tell our grandchildren one day, haha.

But if we don't, which i kinda doubt so coz i really have alot of faith in you...then i don't have much else to say to anyone...besides the fact, hah mother, you are wrong!

goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend

time and time again,

i give more than a few harsh words.

time and time again,
someone gets hurt.

time and time again,
i'm the "bad" friend.
time and time again,
it's my fault till the end.

time and time again,
i'm the one to be blamed.
time and time again,
things won't ever be the same.

time and time again,
i'll lose someone.
time and time again,
i'll start blaming myself.

time and time again,
i act as if i'm tough.
time and time again,
i cry when no one's around.

I can't believe i was that stupid. So stupid to make that mistake. Me, the person who has been trying to protect this whole thing, just blew it. BLEW IT! Me! How can i be so stupid. Stupid. Stoo-peed!

Stupid.

I'm still not done. Stupidstupidstupidstupidstupid! Ugh, this is so frustrating.

till then...

asyik bersembang pakcik dan makcik, hai duit raya lupa nak diberi

I think Hari Raya is a wonderful thing. It's really a time when everybody comes together and enjoy quality time. Not only that, it's a time to forgive and forget and start things anew.

All these years, i never took those things seriously. I only thought that Hari Raya is a time to have fun, celebrate and collect more money. But i must say, this year's more emotional, more meaningful. And I think I have finally believed and experienced the real essence of Hari Raya.

Selamat Hari Raya to everybody. Mohon Maaf Zahir dan Batin :)