Friday, November 13, 2009

It's not so easy loving me

Sometimes I can be really generous, sometimes I can be plain selfish. I won't care about you or your feelings, and everything is just about me. Me, myself and I. My happiness comes first, and I don't intend to sacrifice that for anything or anyone.


Certain stuff just makes me selfish, I guess. I choose to believe I'm not like that most of the time (you may choose to differ), but I can't help being selfish sometimes.


I guess, when it concerns things that are important to me, I would want the best. Who doesn't? And when this happens, I don't care about other people's feelings, I don't care about promises made earlier on. I'm just insistent I want things done my way, and nothing else is allowed.


I love my friends, of course I do. But that doesn't mean I'm supposed to make exceptions when it concerns them right?


I would want to say "I'm sorry". But that's the thing, I'm not sorry at all. People say sorry all the time; when they are late, when they cancel on someone, etc... but why say sorry, when what you've done earlier was on purpose?


But see, people expect you to be sorry, cause that's the right thing to do. And that's where I don't fit in, cause I do stuff sometimes, knowing they are not right, and I don't give a hoot. But see, that's just me, everybody else seems just fine.


I wish my selfishness doesn't have to cause pain for anyone. But if it does, then I'm sorry. Not because of what I did to you, but because this hurts you. Does this even make sense? I wouldn't want to do it if I had a choice, but see everything we do, we actually have a choice. And I choose to hurt you so that I can be happy.


Ok now that I've put it that way, my sorry isn't going to make a difference anyways.


We accept our loved ones for all the quirks that come along with them. I'm selfish, and the least you can do is accept it, I guess.


To long-lasting friendship...what say?

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